Post by cutiepiepmu on Sept 10, 2009 15:11:04 GMT -5
i hadn't been able to bring myself to post this until now- Last
Friday night I went out to bring my horses into the barn to find my QH stallion Little bit - my soulmate for the last 29 years - down and colicing like I have never seen. He was screaming to me and when I got to him it was obvious how much pain he was in. I got him up for him to only make it part of th way to the barn before throwing himself sideways again on to the ground and start thrashing. Was horrible......
By the time the vet got there (about 20 minutes - at 1am by this time) we had the trailer hooked up and bedded deeply and were trying to keep LB up and at least moving a tad - without much success.
We moved him into his deepl bedded stall in the barn when the vet got here. At that point we gave LB a sedative so the vet could check him. A belly tap was inconclusive, no signs of twist via rectal, and nearly a gallon of oil and water down through a tube. We gave a large dose of smooth muscle relaxer as well as narcotic pain meds with the hopes hat he would relax and things would move. No temp at that time, but he was obviously dehydrated so fluids were given. Vet decided he was calm and resting so we would recheck early in the morning. By this time it was around 3:30am. I was left with another dose of muscle relaxer and pain meds just in case. Our expectation was that he would be resting till around a least 7-8am. But, within 1 hour LB was again thrashing and throwing himself in his stall. i gave the muscle relaxers and pain meds and the vet got back to my house in less than 10 minutes. We gave another standing sedative and loading him in the trailer to get him to the clinic. Luckilythe clinic is only about 5 minutes from my house - but i was scared to death that he would be down in the trailer. He made it standing, and seemed almost serene in the trailer when we got to the clinic.
We quickly unloaded and another narcotic pain med and smooth muscle relaxer was given. He still had a normal - if not low - temp, normal breaths and heart rate. His gums were still fairly pink. Belly tap was again, in conclusive, but another rectal determined that the large intestine was pshed WAY WAY back and was tight indicating swelling of the small intestine - wich could be hemorage or twist - fixable only by surgery......
At that point - with him being 29 - in great over all health, but having ahorribly arthritic knee which we had been treating for years, and the fact that there was a good chance he would be septic by the time we could get him to pilchuck - we made the decision to let him go........
He was calm at this point and i brushed his mane and cleaned his face. I hugged him and told him how much I loved him. The reality is - I can't remember my life before him..... he was born when just before i turned 5 years old and has been with me ever since..... He was truely my soul mate. I cut a piece of his mane that I braided and gave him a hug, holding his head on my shoulder like we had always done. He was fully standing sedated and then rocked back to a sitting position. I chose to not be in there for the final shot, but left my sweat shirt which was put over his face so e could still smell me..... By the time I left, he was completely out of it. The vet gave the injection as soon as he heard my truck door shut and said that LB went very quiet and quickly. He gave a triple dse per body weight to make sure things happened so fast that there would be no struggle.
This was the hardest loss I have ever had. My heart is more than broken.....
I chose to have him cremated and was told yesterday that his ashes are already back. I was given a beautiful Asiatic pear tree to plant in his memory - and part of his ashes will be burried when we plant the tree so that he will live on forever. A good friend who does stone work/engraving is making him a memorial stone as well. The rest of the ashes are being made into a diamond which will be set into a locket that will contain a piece of his hair - and will be worn next to my heart forever.
Loss is always hard, but this for me was the hardest possible. My heart aches. I still can't clean his stall and have chosen to space bag his blankets and keep them unwashed.
My worry now is for my Percheron Kadin. Kadin was raised byLB and since he was 3 months old has never had a single day away from little bit. He is beside himself. he paces and is not eating well. He will stop and stare into little bit stall and runs through the pastures obviously looking for LB. The only time he seems to settle is when I sit with him -which I have been doing nearly non stop. I sat the last 3 nights in his stall holding his hay so he would eat almost all night. This morning I sat and held his head while he rested for a long time. It is obvious he is grieving as much as I am - but it must be harder since he doesn't understand why LB isn't here....
Time will heal both of us.... but I know that both of our hearts will always have a little spot missing......
Sara
Friday night I went out to bring my horses into the barn to find my QH stallion Little bit - my soulmate for the last 29 years - down and colicing like I have never seen. He was screaming to me and when I got to him it was obvious how much pain he was in. I got him up for him to only make it part of th way to the barn before throwing himself sideways again on to the ground and start thrashing. Was horrible......
By the time the vet got there (about 20 minutes - at 1am by this time) we had the trailer hooked up and bedded deeply and were trying to keep LB up and at least moving a tad - without much success.
We moved him into his deepl bedded stall in the barn when the vet got here. At that point we gave LB a sedative so the vet could check him. A belly tap was inconclusive, no signs of twist via rectal, and nearly a gallon of oil and water down through a tube. We gave a large dose of smooth muscle relaxer as well as narcotic pain meds with the hopes hat he would relax and things would move. No temp at that time, but he was obviously dehydrated so fluids were given. Vet decided he was calm and resting so we would recheck early in the morning. By this time it was around 3:30am. I was left with another dose of muscle relaxer and pain meds just in case. Our expectation was that he would be resting till around a least 7-8am. But, within 1 hour LB was again thrashing and throwing himself in his stall. i gave the muscle relaxers and pain meds and the vet got back to my house in less than 10 minutes. We gave another standing sedative and loading him in the trailer to get him to the clinic. Luckilythe clinic is only about 5 minutes from my house - but i was scared to death that he would be down in the trailer. He made it standing, and seemed almost serene in the trailer when we got to the clinic.
We quickly unloaded and another narcotic pain med and smooth muscle relaxer was given. He still had a normal - if not low - temp, normal breaths and heart rate. His gums were still fairly pink. Belly tap was again, in conclusive, but another rectal determined that the large intestine was pshed WAY WAY back and was tight indicating swelling of the small intestine - wich could be hemorage or twist - fixable only by surgery......
At that point - with him being 29 - in great over all health, but having ahorribly arthritic knee which we had been treating for years, and the fact that there was a good chance he would be septic by the time we could get him to pilchuck - we made the decision to let him go........
He was calm at this point and i brushed his mane and cleaned his face. I hugged him and told him how much I loved him. The reality is - I can't remember my life before him..... he was born when just before i turned 5 years old and has been with me ever since..... He was truely my soul mate. I cut a piece of his mane that I braided and gave him a hug, holding his head on my shoulder like we had always done. He was fully standing sedated and then rocked back to a sitting position. I chose to not be in there for the final shot, but left my sweat shirt which was put over his face so e could still smell me..... By the time I left, he was completely out of it. The vet gave the injection as soon as he heard my truck door shut and said that LB went very quiet and quickly. He gave a triple dse per body weight to make sure things happened so fast that there would be no struggle.
This was the hardest loss I have ever had. My heart is more than broken.....
I chose to have him cremated and was told yesterday that his ashes are already back. I was given a beautiful Asiatic pear tree to plant in his memory - and part of his ashes will be burried when we plant the tree so that he will live on forever. A good friend who does stone work/engraving is making him a memorial stone as well. The rest of the ashes are being made into a diamond which will be set into a locket that will contain a piece of his hair - and will be worn next to my heart forever.
Loss is always hard, but this for me was the hardest possible. My heart aches. I still can't clean his stall and have chosen to space bag his blankets and keep them unwashed.
My worry now is for my Percheron Kadin. Kadin was raised byLB and since he was 3 months old has never had a single day away from little bit. He is beside himself. he paces and is not eating well. He will stop and stare into little bit stall and runs through the pastures obviously looking for LB. The only time he seems to settle is when I sit with him -which I have been doing nearly non stop. I sat the last 3 nights in his stall holding his hay so he would eat almost all night. This morning I sat and held his head while he rested for a long time. It is obvious he is grieving as much as I am - but it must be harder since he doesn't understand why LB isn't here....
Time will heal both of us.... but I know that both of our hearts will always have a little spot missing......
Sara